Over the course of my life thus far, I've been inundated with fairytale love stories, Nicholas Sparks novels that have made me cry and created visions in my head, and todays #relationshipgoals. All of which have settled into my heart as "the ultimate love story." In the beginning of my dating life, I found myself whipping out a little check sheet with my potential "forevers" only to find myself feeling uninspired with the trajectory. Hardened to the possibility of ever having that "perfect one", I began to doubt that real love could ever truly exist. I began to create rules and expectations for this seemingly non-existent person and felt truly alone in the world. Until I met Jesse. This guy had me throwing caution to the wind, along with my check sheet, rules and expectations. He was far from perfect, in desperate need of a change (or two...) in his life, but boy did I fall in love. Against all odds, I found myself eager to just be in the same room as him.
As our relationship moved forward, I started learning more about love languages, the enneagram, and how these various character examinations could relate so beautifully into our life together. I've learned so much over the years about love and marriage and feel so blessed that I am continuing to learn and grow with him. As we have grown and learned more about one another, I've realized something truly eyeopening - true love cannot be learned from a rom com, (nothing against Nicholas Sparks) or even a personality quiz. While these things can give us a peek into the how and why we are the way we are, they can't fully give us the whole story. My husband gives and receives love totally different than I could have ever known or planned for upon meeting him. And while it may not be trending via #relationshipgoals, it has been exponentially more beautiful than couples yoga.
My husband may not get me flowers every Friday on his way home from work, or surprise me with tickets to a play he knows I want to see, but he does do a bajillion other things that allow me to not only feel loved, but feel seen, heard and respected.
Every morning we prepare our coffee before he goes to work. A lot of mornings, he doesn't make my coffee. But he knows exactly how I like it because he listens and is observant. In the last 5 years, my coffee recipe has changed several times, and each time he is up to date - knowing exactly which sugar I prefer now and how much creamer to add.
He knows what my actual favorite color is, despite the fact that I tell everyone it's purple. I don't do this because I like to lie about my favorite color, but because my actual favorite color makes little sense to most. Except for my husband who asked several questions to better understand what I meant when I said, "the color of solder when it melts", because he is inquisitive about the things that matter to me.
He will always grab the keys to drive at night because he knows I can't see very well in the dark. Even if he isn't feeling up to driving at that time, he doesn't mention a single word of disdain because he knows how fearful I get and is willing to remove that fear for me without hesitation.
He will remind me that I am a great mom in the midst of the 45th tantrum of the morning (mine or our sons... it really could be either of us at the time), because he sees how hard I'm fighting with myself in the difficulty of the moment. He. Sees. Me. Even if he isn't physically looking at me, he is reminding me that he knows, understands, and is proud of what I am doing.
He goes to every major doctor's appointment I may have - from every single prenatal appointment we had when we were pregnant, to a physical I am fearful of, he shows up. I have an upcoming appointment with a specialist in a few weeks that I have been having a difficult time reconciling with, and he's already taken the day off of work to be there, despite his insane (and super attractive) dedication to his job.
He will look at me, know something is wrong, and will not accept "I'm fine" as an answer. He'll dig and pry until the cows come home if he has to (and let's face it, he often does🙄) because he knows me and knows that no matter how hard I try, I'm not capable of always being "fine."
He may yell when he gets mad, forget what day we got married (it was the 5th, babe😬), leave his dishes on the table when he's done eating, take of his sweater and leave it on the floor, wait until the last minute to get me a present for my birthday, or completely glaze over when I'm going on about something for the millionth time. But he shows that he loves me multiple times a day in his own brilliantly beautiful way - and that is something that I could have never even begun to ask for. I didn't know that love would look quite like this, but I am forever grateful that it does. It may not go viral or be sought after by the masses, but it is truly my #relationshipgoals that I had been so desperate to find all those years ago.
On this 5th anniversary of this wild rollercoaster we've been on, I feel truly lucky that I get to spend each and everyday alongside my best friend, my number one fan, and my real life Noah (seriously, who doesn't love The Notebook?). I am honored to be celebrating half of a decade with this man who opened my eyes to love, respect, and happiness.
Happy Anniversary, love. Thank you for loving me in all the ways that you do.
Forever, and a million.
Cook
Note: Reposted from my previous blog.
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