On Super Bowl Sunday, our church shared a video called Football Sunday. In my 26 years I had never heard of or seen anything like this. It was a collection of interviews with various football players and their wives in which they shared about faith. Not football stats, money, entertainment, traditions, etc. they shared about faith. Football is one of my favorite things. I love watching football, I love watching my kiddo scream for the Broncos and the "Hawkeys" (Sorry Seattle, it's the best he can come up with!) and throw his arms in the air when there is a touchdown, I love throwing the football around the house, I love the anxiety excitement (anyone else?😅). I just love football. But never, in my entire time cheering on my teams did it strike me that these people are... people. That sounds bad. But seriously... the thought never really occurred to me. I have my favorite players that I follow on Instagram and "know" a fair bit about, but this realization didn't really strike me until I was at church last Sunday. And it hit me like a freight train.
While we can certainly complain about the fact that football players make more money for "throwing a ball around" and that they often get away with things without so much as a slap on the wrist, there is something to be said about what these men and their families are doing. I was profoundly surprised by the sacrifices that they make on behalf of Jesus. It was inspiring. It was uplifting. It was incredible to hear the ways in which God has worked systematically in each of their lives. I was in awe over their strength and courage to navigate some really difficult obstacles that would be hard enough to face in secret, let alone in the public eye. It was really awakening for me to see that these people... (honestly, all people) have stories. And what we see on TV, in movies, on Instagram, etc. isn't the entire picture. Heck, a lot of the time it isn't even a fraction of the picture.
In the video, one of the men (either Benjamin Watson or Demario Davis, both from the Saints) said something that hit me so deeply I felt a physical shift in my entire being:
"The love of God is way too important to keep silent."
Way. Too. Important. I often keep my faith to myself because I'm afraid of what may (and has) come from it. I don't want to rock the boat, cause a fight, or lose something or someone in the process. I'd just rather not say anything and keep my faith tucked deep in my heart where I can "keep it safe." But that's not the point. By trying to "keep it safe" I am "keeping it silent." When I look back at the things I've been through, the heartbreaks, the losses, the lows, it was the love of God that got me through it. When I look back at the successes, the wins, the highs, it was the love of God that brought me there. And to keep that to myself isn't fair to Him. His work in my life is unbelievable and I feel so incredibly blessed to have had the opportunities and the experiences that have made me who I am today.
It wasn't happenstance that my husband and I found each other and fell in love. It wasn't just good timing to get pregnant after getting out of an incredibly debilitating living situation. It wasn't a coincidence that we joked about faith and a pastor knocked on the door. It wasn't an accident that we have dear friends that we have been able to create lasting relationships with. It was and is God. He knew what we needed, before we did. He provided when there was otherwise no way possible things were going to work. He loved us, even when we didn't love Him.
It makes me sad now to think of the years I spent in the dark. I think back to all the moments where He reached out to me and for a moment I took His hand only to let go and try to hold on to my own. Have you ever tried to use your own hand to lift yourself up off the ground? It doesn't work how you'd hope and you always end up in the crawling position on all fours trying to hoist yourself up like a deer learning to walk. The easiest time I've ever had getting up was when I had help. Christ has been the hand to pull me up, time and time again. And it's clear now, that that is something to scream from the mountaintops.
"The love of God is way too important to keep silent."
I am continuously surprised by God and the way He works. I learn more about His will, His plan, His love, and His greatness every single day. And each day I am in awe at His deep desire to know me. I am not where I am today because of what I have done. I am here because God made it so that I could be. And that is love unlike anything I've ever known. As a parent and as a wife, I certainly know love, but I have to imagine that if, God forbid, the time ever came that my husband or son told me they hated me enough times, I may back off a bit and try to protect my heart. God has *never* done that to me. He has remained present, expectant and available no matter what I said, didn't say, did, or didn't do. That is a love that we could not possibly ever understand or emulate, but I will certainly do my best to try.
I am proud to know Jesus. I am proud to have been baptized and born again new in Him. I am proud to have the Holy Spirit leading me, inspiring me, and strengthening me. I am proud to identify as a Christian. I am proud to attend church and worship Him as loud as I possibly can. I am proud to be raising a son that puts his hands together to pray when you say "Jesus." I am proud to be married to a man who knows Jesus and love Him more than he loves me. I am proud to be a woman of God, a child of God, a sister in Christ.
I. Am. Proud.
Keeping it silent is no longer an option. Remaining true and steadfast in Christ is embracing Him honestly, openly, and authentically. Jesus loves me and I love Him.
"The love of God is way too important to keep silent."
Xx,
Mama Yearley
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