When my husband and I first started looking into faith, we relied heavily on Google for a lot of our questions. After a number of searches, one resource that continuously came up for us was Jeff & Alyssa Bethke. I watched one of Jeff's videos on YouTube and before I knew it, I was subscribed to their channel, was ordering their books and was seeking answers to my questions through their numerous resources. I found so much hope and wisdom in their videos, books and recently their Love that Lasts podcast. It really became a major staple in our lives and has been something we turn to often, even a year later. We have recently started their Monthly Marriage Workshop and have really gained a lot in this last month. It has really been an incredible resource for us. One of the things that they have mentioned both in their videos and on the Facebook page for the MMW is the importance of the Sabbath. This idea was completely and totally foreign to me. The only Sabbath I knew of was Black... (Ozzy anyone?). So when Jeff and Alyssa talked about doing the Sabbath every week, I was super confused and intrigued. They talked about the ways that their family does it and how they treat each week like a party. Who doesn't want to do that?! Overall, the idea of the Sabbath is honoring the day of rest that we are intended to have, and really taking that time to be intentional with our little families. All of which, I was on board with. So we talked about it, learned more about it, and went for it. We set aside time last Saturday to have our Sabbath and so many thing came out of that one day that we have decided to enact it every week. It is still new, so we will be learning things as we go, but this was a life changing experience for us and I want to share with you all how we did it, what we did, and why we are making it a weekly staple in our lives, and some questions and perspectives that came up.
In Jeff and Alyssa's video they explain what the Sabbath means to their family specifically and how they work to really cultivate this time with their family each week (Jeff starts talking about the Sabbath specifically in that video at 8:27). In a video for the MMW they talk about the Sabbath being the day that you "eat the best food, drink the best wine and do what's most filling for your family." This was the sentence that pushed me from hesitant to all in. I knew that I was intrigued by it, but that sentence was the tipping point for me because I knew it was something that would be beneficial for all of us. So I set out to work getting prepared for the Sabbath. I researched different meals, printed out recipes, got all of the groceries ordered and picked up, did the laundry, cleaned the apartment, and made several Spotify playlists that could be played on airplane mode. Music is something that is so integral in our family and we really thrive off sharing music, whether singing together, worshipping together, dancing together, or all of the above at one time - it's a big deal. I wanted us to have the ability to enjoy those things without the burden of the "phone". So I prepared ahead of time different playlists, downloaded them, and then was able to put my phone on airplane mode and just let it do it's thing. In the hours leading up to the Sabbath, we were both a bit anxious. What if it was awful? What if we hated it? What if it was boring? What if we were doing it wrong? So many worries seemed to bombard us. And let me tell you, all of that anxiety was for nothing...
At 4pm on Saturday we shut everything off. Our son got up from his nap and we all played on the living room floor. We decided we had plenty of sunlight and headed to the playground for some fun before dinner. We had a blast and then came home to make dinner together. We made a different meal than we've made in the past, we made a brand new dessert and we just enjoyed our time as a family. It was m a g i c. We laughed, we danced, we cried, we embraced, we prayed, we lived. By Saturday night, we crawled into bed feeling so full (and not just on the delicious food, although that was incredible too). It was so rejuvenating. We didn't turn our phones back on until after church on Sunday and felt as though we were ready to take on the week (which was a good thing, as Luke and I got a cold and Jesse had some pretty busy days at work😴). Halfway through the week Jesse said he still felt such a peace that he hadn't ever felt before. The weekend really was a turning point for us.
It was amazing how much fun we could have as a family. We celebrated the amazing blessing life is and the even greater blessing that we get to share it together. We had uninhibited fun. We sat down for dinner and found ourselves both in tears - the happiest tears. It was just so much more than we'd expected it would be. It was a time to reflect, to pray, to navigate the moments that were upon us rather than preparing for the next 100 moments that may or may not come in the future. It was the right then and that was it. We felt so filled up that we both knew it was something we wanted to do again. And again. We've already started thinking about meals that we want to try and games that we could play. We're excited and eager for more times to just be, rather than being on the go all the time.
I had a few interesting thoughts that came up during our Sabbath, the first of which being that I found myself thoroughly enjoying the preparation beforehand. I was eager to get all of the cleaning done ahead of time, knowing that it was going to be SO worth it in the end. I was beyond excited to pick up my grocery order so that I could see all of the new ingredients we had gotten for our dinner and dessert. I wasn't begrudgingly going to King Soopers knowing that I had mountains of food prep in my future because all I could focus on was the Sabbath awaiting us after I picked up the groceries. It was enjoyable and so fun. Furthermore, I noticed that there are often times I get upset with my husband for playing computer games instead of being super involved with us. (That is not to say that he just plays computer games 24/7 and abandons us because he doesn't, but the guy can get sucked in sometimes.) I found myself giving him the space to do the things he enjoys doing knowing that we would have a full 24 hours to spend one on one during the Sabbath. I was less pushy about him spending every second with us, knowing that there was time to really connect on the horizon. It was encouraging and really gave us both the freedom to do things we enjoyed doing. I was able to slip off and read my book in bed while he gamed. It didn't feel like we would be missing out on all of this time together because I knew that we had intentional time awaiting us on Saturday. It was freedom before the freedom!
One thing that I really found myself struggling with was the worry that something could happen and we wouldn't know about it. Seriously, how did people function before without being in the constant know? I imagine less fear, anxiety and discomfort. We both laid down Saturday and wondered, "What if our family members had an emergency and needed to contact us?" It was fear inducing to think that they could have needed us and we wouldn't have known right away. But the reality is that whatever is going to happen is going to happen. We are fairly close to our immediate families, with the exception of my family in Washington, so if something did happen here, someone could get to us if they needed to. That being said, God is in control. We have to "let go, and let God." Which in that moment was exactly what we did. It was tough, but necessary. We disconnected and really embraced the moments that we were spending with our little family right then. It was a reality check for how plugged in we all are every single day, but boy, when we left church Sunday we both felt significantly better than we had Friday. A little unplugging can really do the soul wonders.
If you're skeptical or hesitant about enacting the Sabbath, Alyssa gave great advice about the Sabbath in their video on the MMW. She said that if you can even commit to 4 hours of complete disconnect, then do it. Don't let the time commitment keep you from at least trying it. There is always an opportunity to just take a moment with your little family and it's necessary if you expect to be functioning on all cylinders all the time. You'll find that everything else becomes easier and even more enjoyable when you take the time to really be intentional in the moment that you're in without the hindrance of technology and other nagging things (i.e., work, assignments, household chores, etc.). These moments that we have with our families are not forever and the more separation we have with them, the less we are truly able to be a family. It is in the little things that we grow big connections and bonds that can't be broken. Do it, trust me, it's worth it.
"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy." Exodus 20:8-11 ESV
"So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation." Genesis 2:3 ESV
Xx,
Mama Yearley
Note: Reposted from my previous blog.
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