Similarly to this piece about love, I realized that everything that I thought love was, for relationships, parenthood, friendship, etc. was different than I had ever imagined. In all honesty, each has been such a beautiful lesson to learn because I am able to spend more time thoroughly loving my friends and family. So often we waste precious time trying to live up to some unreachable standard of love. I believe that this is especially true for parenthood. I was told so many different things about parenthood when we found out that we were expecting. It was overwhelming and a lot of times I felt like I wasn't going to live up to the standard of parenthood that I was supposed to. Boy was I wrong! I have learned so much in the last 4 months about loving a child that no standard could ever touch. Let me explain what this meant for me.
Love wasn't being in love with pregnancy, it was learning that my journey through pregnancy was only a prequel to my lifelong journey with parenthood.
Love wasn't about having a painkiller free and blissfully easy birth, it was about taking every stop possible to bring a healthy baby boy into the world.
Love wasn't about solely breastfeeding, it was about ensuring that my child was well nourished, regardless of medium.
Love wasn't falling immediately into complete love, it is being overwhelmed with a growing love every single day.
Love wasn't losing precious sleep, it is embracing each precious moment I have with my son regardless of time.
Love wasn't giving up my old life, it is enhancing my life in the most brilliant ways possible.
Love wasn't giving up my dreams to care for a child, it is rewriting my dreams to incorporate my son and my husband.
Love wasn't being overprotective, it is being dedicated to the life that my son deserves.
Love wasn't being filled with crippling fear, it is being filled with a fire to ensure my child is safe, loved and educated.
Love wasn't about each day being perfect, it is having incredibly difficult days that make things hard and growing through them.
Love wasn't getting everything right, it is about making mistakes and finding new ways to navigate the obstacles.
Allowing myself to openly learn the beauty of loving a child has been an equally incredible and terrifying journey. When I began this journey I was terrified of doing something wrong or misplacing particular emotions but I am overwhelmed by how easy it has been to embrace motherhood. I find new, unique and incredible variations in what I had heard about love and what love has been for me every single day. I am so incredibly grateful for the time that I get to share with my son and I can only hope that he always knows how incredibly loved and cherished he is and always will be.
Xx,
Mama Yearley
Note: Reposted from my previous blog.
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