This one sentence from my almost 8 year old (😢) brother in law was enough to send me down Nostalgia Lane. I realized just how much has changed in the *gulp* almost 2 years that my son has been alive. There was a time not so long ago that my little baby boy dawned a gummy smile and was figuring out that he had hands and feet that he was in control of. That smile quickly morphed into one with a couple of teeth and swollen gums (teething is the absolute worst...). Before I knew it, my sweet little boy had a mouth full of teeth, a personality bigger than his entire body, and the cutest run I've ever seen. When Wyatt reminded me of Luke's "this" phase, it hit me like a ton of bricks. That phase seems like it happened 40 years ago in a different lifetime. I've learned that when you are raising a child there are so many moments that you just push through instead of really enjoying because they are overwhelming and exhausting.
In the newborn phase you go through the "I can get through the 2am feedings because eventually they'll sleep through the night" and "I can't wait until they are able to hold their head up on their own." But then you blink and you have a toddler screaming into the floor because you didn't turn Spongebob on fast enough. You find yourself saying, "I can't wait until they're out of the terrible twos and can use their words." It becomes this cycle of looking forward to the next phase only to look back and miss the specific moments you were wishing away through grogginess and frustration. This realization is so difficult to grasp because often in the moment it feels like it's the worst situation ever. The truth of the matter is that once it's gone and you're onto the next phase, you'll realize that those various moments you had wished away or just went through on autopilot were mere stepping stones to the next chapter.
I've learned over these last couple of years that if I don't stop to marinate in the moments as they come, I will inevitably forget about them (did I mention mom brain being a real thing...?). There are so many moments that I've already forgotten about being caught up in the frustrations of our current meltdown season, that a moment of nostalgia was exactly what I needed to remind myself that this phase seems tough now. But there will be a time in the future where I am wishing for this phase again and reminiscing over the little things that really weren't as big as I'd thought them to be at the time.
Right now, Luke is a meltdown waiting to happen. He gets frustrated and cries a lot throughout the day. The reality is that he has very little means of communicating his frustrations with me, so crying is his go to. That is a particularly difficult thing for anyone to go through and I imagine he feels so helpless trying to tell me what he wants with a vocabulary that is made up of maybe 10 words and a cluster of signs. I have to remind myself of this when I am feeling as though I'm about to explode and take time to simmer in the reality of where we are. We are all learning how to communicate (heck, I'm still learning how to do that at 25) and wishing this season away won't make it any better. There will be a time 10 years from now where he'll be saying things that are hurtful and I'll be wishing for the moments when he ran through 4 different signs trying to remember how to say "thank you."
Whether you're in the newborn phase or the phase where they're verbally assaulting you, enjoy it. Our babies won't be our babies forever (they will, but not in the same way...😪) and eventually when they're all grown up and starting families of their own, all we'll have to look back on is the moments that we spent time in. Try with all your might to hold onto the phase that you're in because before you know it, it will be a memory locked in the back of your mind only brought out when someone or something jolts it back into the forefront.
I know that the seasons can be tough to navigate, but know that you are not alone in this journey. You are not the only one with a colicky baby. You are not the only one with a toddler who throws a fit because they don't like the food you slaved over. You are not the only one with a sassy teenager who thinks they know better than you do. All of us out here with kids have a story to tell that is similar and we all are going through something. As parents, we are learning right alongside our children and if I've learned anything along the way it's that wherever you are, it is going to be okay. You will make it through this phase and the next million to come - I promise. Soak up the moments and remember that it won't last forever, they'll eventually grow up and you'll need these memories to embrace as you walk Nostalgia Lane (hopefully with a smile and a burst of love for the human you created).
Xx,
Mama Yearley
Ps,
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! May today be a day you feel so cherished for all that you do for your children and your families! God Bless! 💜
Note: Reposted from my previous blog.
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