Before I had my son, everyone would tell me that I was about to experience a love like no other. They told me that I was going to have more love for my child than anyone in my life, including my husband. I have to admit this was something that bothered me quite a bit. I don't know if it was because I felt as though people were saying that I didn't truly love my husband or because I really had no way of understanding what they meant at that moment in my life. However, on July 11, 2016, at 12:13am I heard a sound that ignited a previously vacant space in my heart. I will never be able to put into words what happened that day, but there was an entire part of my heart that was empty until my son was born. The moment I heard his first cry was the moment that that empty space became full of undeniable love. Over the last 5 months, I've had the opportunity to really settle into the feelings, emotions, and roles of being a wife and a mother. I've realized something important about what those people were always trying to tell me: a parent's love is completely different than any other love in the world. What this has come to mean for me is that I don't love my husband any less than I thought I did (honestly, I love the man more every day as we navigate this new chapter together), but I love him differently than I love our son. Let me explain.
Note: I will say before I jump into it, that I am speaking solely from my own perspectives on marriage and being a mother. So take that with a grain of salt as you proceed.
My husband and I share a love unlike any other love I've shared with anyone because together we've navigated mountains, brought a human into the world and exchanged vows to embark on this journey together, "till death do we part." We've connected on the most intellectual and intimate levels I've ever felt with anyone and for that I consider myself the luckiest woman in the world. I am so thankful to share such a deep and passionate love with such a brilliant man. While my husband and I share this incredible love, the love I share with my son is different, I believe, because he grew inside of me. I kept him nourished both in and out of the womb, felt his movements, and brought him into the world. I have been able to watch each aspect of my son's development thus far. I've watched his hair grow, fall off and grow again (in different colors each time, ha!). I've watched him develop his motor skills. I've listened to his vocal cords develop (louder and louder every minute, in case you were wondering). I've watched him figure out his hands and his feet. I've been a part of his life from the moment he came out of me and it's been an ever changing, daily experience. I've been able to fall in love with each of these aspects over and over again in ways that I won't be able to with my husband. I didn't create my husband, he was (I'm 100% certain) created for me. (Thanks Lisa, I'm so thankful for your son.😘 )
Now don't get me wrong here, I've been able to watch amazing growth occur in my husband, physically, mentally, emotionally and intellectually. I fall in love with various aspects of his being, every day. I am blown away by how incredible he is with not only our relationship, but with our son. For someone that grew up without a father figure, he blows the role out of the water. Time and time again I find myself deeply in love with his heart and soul and get overwhelmed with joy that I get to have this man hold my hand through life. The main difference, I believe, is that loving someone that was brought to you through divine intervention and loving someone that you created is the fact that you created them. And while I do see this difference, I don't believe I love my husband any less than I love my son, I just love them both differently.
My husband and my son hold a Venn Diagram, if you will, in my heart. Each encompasses their own beautiful space in previously vacant atriums but come together beautifully somewhere in the middle. I am enamored each and every day by the exquisite love I share with each of them, both individually and as a unit. Without these two amazing beings, I wouldn't have the opportunity to hold the wife and mother roles that I've been maintaining for the last several months. I am so incredibly thankful to have had this opportunity for love in my life and I cannot wait for the years to come.
Xx,
Mama Yearley
Note: Reposted from my previous blog.
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