Jesse and I have spent a lot of time together and have thoroughly enjoyed our time together. We often have people comment on the fact that our relationship is the "exception to the rule" because we work so well together. I find that nowadays, relationships aren't easy to come by and positive relationships are just about nonexistent. We have so many friends that share their relationship woes online and it's always the same thing: "s/he's doing this and I hate it", "s/he's not paying attention to me", "s/he doesn't give me x,y,z," etc. etc. etc. It gets to be pretty exhausting and I know that most of those people are pretty unhappy. The crazy thing is that a lot of times I feel like I need to keep my relationship to myself because otherwise I'm going to cause feelings of hurt to those around me. I don't know why I struggle with that, but it is really something that I think is rooted in how society works nowadays (but I think that that is a topic for another time). So many people thrive on the negative and the drama, that when there is something positive going on, it's almost irrelevant or comes off as bragging.
Never have I had the intention of bragging and Jesse and I have been through our fair share of ups and downs, but never have we been to the point of disdain for the other and never have any of our fights lasted more than a couple of hours. The trick, I believe, is that we do 4 specific things all the time.
The first and one of the most important is that we keep everyone else out of it. Our relationship is something intimate between us. I truly believe that that is the key to almost all of our success. We never take to Facebook or any other social media to discuss our relationship woes, nor do we go to friends and family with our issues. We both have had relationships in the past where we have involved other people and each situation ended in quite the demise (lucky for us now (: ). Because of this, we've been able to really focus the energy into one another. We work through our problems together because at the end of the day, our relationship is ours and ours alone.
The second secret to our success is date night. We go to Fort Collins every Friday night and spend the evening together. My mom takes care of the baby for us and we enjoy our time together after a long week of chaos. We unwind, talk, embrace, laugh, eat, and enjoy things that we love, together. It is so easy to get caught up in the everyday grind of life, work and the mundane that it is *imperative* that we spend some one on one time together. We have a great time and I am so thankful for date night each week. I understand that we may not always be able to do a weekly date night, so I never take those nights for granted and I am so incredibly thankful that we have the opportunity now.
The third secret that I think is important for our relationship is that we have a tv show we watch together every night. Some nights, we're both exhausted and unable to focus on the show (which is to be expected, we are parents). However, most nights we manage to always watch one episode before bed. It's an hour each night that gives us a chance to unwind and relax together. It's not a lot of time, but it's something I look forward to each night.
The final aspect, (I've saved the best for last) is communication. We talk about anything and everything. Always. We don't keep secrets from the other, we voice our concerns, and we discuss things that give us joy and the things that we each need to work on. We keep an open line of communication always and give the other the opportunity to grow in whatever direction we need to at the time. I am so thankful for our communication and I believe that without it, we'd be in a completely different place in our relationship. I love the freedom I have to talk to my spouse without fear or feeling as though I need to walk on egg shells.
We don't have an easy ride by any means, but we work hard. We work together. And that is everything.
Xx,
Mrs. Yearley
Note: Reposted from my previous blog.
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